The Long Dark Tech-Time of the Soul

This is a technology focused blog that describes my trials and tribulations with techonlogy which, no matter what brave new world is promised to be just around the corner, nearly always fails to live up to expectations.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Apple Cherry Popped

Okay, so tacky title, however I'm pleased to announce that close on the heels of my "Apple Keyboard Love" post I can announce that I actually bought my first Apple product - the USB keyboard. I have to say its a really nice piece of engineering for $29.95. Comapred to the equivalent Logitech or Belkin keyboards its a virtual piece of art. I think this is one case where Apple could sell a TON more product if they would just advertise it as PC compatible. Like iPod, its not about selling a Mac/Apple computer, its all about selling hardware that will suck you into the Apple clique.

I have to admit I spent half the day looking for and playing with software that would let me use all of the keyboards keys with a PC, something your average computer user would not do. In the end using the simple and free KeyTweak I got everything working except the CD eject key which apparently just does not send a scan code that can be mapped to anything useful. Oh well. Apart from that I set F13 to Print Screen, F14 to Last Track, F15 to Play/Pause and F16 to Next Track. The volume up, down and mute on/off keys seemed to work as they were. I also had to map the keypad "=" key to a regular "=".

6/6/06 Update: I recently discovered that Apple's BootCamp software has a bunch of drivers you can use with Windows XP that provide support for all the Apple hardware including the USB keyboard and its non-standard CD-Eject key. Unfortunately when I downloaded the image for the BootCamp software CD (free from Apple) I found it is in a .dmg format that my Windows CD burner software doesn't recognise (what's wrong with ISO images Apple?). So I'll have to hold off on getting the pesky CD-Eject working however to be honnest I almost always just press the eject button next to the CD slot my non-Apple hardware has (which is where its supposed to be).

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Apple Keyboard love

For the not the first time I found myself looking a nice, clean, white Apple Keyboard and thinking it would be a great replacement for those butt ugly black Logitech keyboards. The Apple keyboards are more like those I used to use with various Unix workstations and even VTxxx terminals back in the day. But would one work with a PC? Well its USB right so why not? Fortunately my neighbor is a long time Mac addict and let me plug one into my trusty laptop.

As expected it was recognised right away and basically worked just fine - the option key becomes Alt and the Mac/Apple key becomes a Windows key. The media play/pause/volume keys didn't work but I didn't really expect them to, other than that its a good looking nicely designed keyboard and the wired version is only $29.99 and it includes a USB hub for two more devices. Eat your heart out Logitech!

I've found there is also some software called AppleKeys that will map some of the non-functioning function keys (F13 through 16) to Windows functions, and maybe even get those media keys running. Yay! Now if I can just get definite confirmation the bluetooth version will also work with my hardware...

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Java peak?

I went to JavaOne in SF today. Just an exhibitors pass mind you, for which I still had to part with $150. That's a pretty penny - three times more than I've paid for an exhibit only pass for any show before, think about it $150 just so that a bunch of companies could have the privilege to sell to me, and perhaps shovel some free schwag my way. Well for many years JavaOne didn't even have an exhibit only pass - you literally couldn't get in unless you stumped up $2k or more for a full conference pass. That hasn't been true for several years now though.

I'm pretty sure my first trip to JavaOne was in 1995 - their registration form seemed to indicate they had a JavaOne in '94 but I'm not really sure that could be true - was Java even out then? The Mosaic browser was barely up to 1.0 by then, if that and I don't recall hearing anything about Java until '95 and if you had to really twist my arm I might say I didn't go to JavaOne until '96, but perhaps I'm mistaken. Suffice to say I've been to a lot of them in my time - for three years at least as an exhibitor - and last year may have been the first I didn't manage to get there in some form or other.

Lets just say I'm feeling a little sad. The exhibit hall was quiet, with lots of wide open spaces in the middle and around the edges. If you took out the huge stands for a whole bunch of mobile phone companies like Nokia, Motorola and BenQ then you could comfortably have fit all the exhibits in well under a half of the hall. Its true that the usually massive and distributed Sun stand was jammed into a tiny space, I expect they kept it small to save money, but all in all I was really underwhelmed.

Considering about half of the exhibit area was taken up by the aforementioned mobile operators and related mobile offerings there really wasn't that much to write home about. IBM, huge proponent of all things Java had a very uninspired and uninteresting stand, I couldn't find anyone to tell me about their J9 VM. Sun had even let Microsoft have a stand - one of the bigger ones too - they were plugging technologies to assist in migration from Sun to .NET. Nothing very interesting but they gave me a free book, perhaps because I showed them my Microsoft "Geek" T-shirt I was wearing, a friend who works there gave it to me last year and you know what, I wear it proudly.

Looking around the rest of the exhibits I really didn't see anything that caught my eye as really cool. Perhaps we've got to the stage where Java has touched everything it can and nothing is surprising or innovative any more. Or maybe Java is truely on the way out... reached its peak and now starting a long journey into obscurity. And I do mean long, because believe if Sun does complete its open source plans for the language then Java will still be in use when I'm well into retirement. Although I'm by no means the first and last to suggest such a thing, I only recently caught myself actually believing it might be true. This was a consequence of checking the search popularity of "Java" on Google's new Google Trend feature. Since its peak in late 2003 Java searches have dropped by over a third. Maybe everyone knows where to find out about Java now, or maybe they are searching for something else?

If anything the main theme of JavaOne was actually more related to this fuzzy wee beast know as "Web 2.0", that catch monika for "the next cool thing". Which is kind of ironic because really Java doesn't do that much for Web 2.0. Sure there's some Java based tools that let you generate AJAX apps, and finally work to update the Java APIs web based APIs to support it since servlets don't really address its paradigm. To me, what is even more ironic is that this recent web 2.0 blaze of glory is really all about what the original Java applet technology was all about - doing more with the web than just boring static HTML.

Of course Sun's big, expensive, protracted and ultimately bad fight with Microsoft pretty much killed off applets. Now almost no one uses them because like that bastard child of applets, Flash, no one really wants to download yet another plugin to eat up their CPU and flash irritating on their screen.

In my dream, applets would have been first class citizens in the web world by now and take over all those hacky JavaScript scripts we have to deal with. Applets could be loaded and stay loaded between web pages, and do all the groovy dynamic HTML/XML manipulations that JavaScript, the web equivalents of BASIC, now does.

Truth be told that I've kind of made my peace with JavaScript, but like C++ it really just sucks as a development language because writing portable, reusable and extendable libraries in JavaScript is hard - so hard that few ever manage to do it. And because everything JavaScript goes away between each page load they leave a lot to be desired. Perhaps that is what all the ho-hah about web 2.0 is now - finally we can get full HTML based app with a singe page load WITHOUT using pesky frames. But lets face it, when it comes down to it, JavaScript is still a developers nightmare - just give me good old Java with a tight binding back into the DOM and I'd be more than happy.

In fact truth be told, if I had my way the browser would just be an applet container and HTML would merely be a convenient and simple presentation technology for all those (like me) who either don't know, or dont care to write a "real" user interface.

Anyway, I know the next great hope is supposed to be Ruby - I haven't actually looked at it more than momentarily. I somehow doubt it could ever replace all the millions of man years thrown into Java technologies in the last ten years or so. So far I've only really heard anyone get very excited about it in terms of building web applications - something I don't actually care that much about. For everything else there is Java, C and maybe C++ if you're feeling really sick and twisted. Actually I think C++ is fast on its was to attaining LISP like status for use only on "seriously heavy (or obscure) stuff" because so many of those C++ coders are from the Microsoft world and switching over to that oh so very much like Java language, C#.

What do I think of C#? If you must ask me I would say if there was to be a fight between Sun and C# and both were made OpenSource then I really wouldn't care which one. They are so similar in terms of syntax and capabilites it seems to matter not which you use unless you're obsessed with security sandbox issues (a comparison of which I have yet to study). Lets just say that very few Java programmers have a really strong understanding of Java security or how to use it (least of all me) and use Java with enough other technologies with more sieve like security features that it renders Java's strengths less than critical. I mean last time you heard about data being leaked from a company or website was it because of inherenet Java/PHP/.NET platform weaknesses? No it was almost always due to so dumb application weakness, a rogue employee, a lost laptop or just totally weak (I mean weeeeeek) passwords. Doh!

Well, that's enough ranting - the empty halls of JavaOne certainly set it off, but the rest was my pent up angst about where software development is going in the next few years. Lets hope that Ruby on Rails and its ilk aren't about to lead us back around in another huge circle reinventing the wheel just because its fun. Forward progress is good mmmmkay?

Monday, May 15, 2006

When is an expert not an expert?

Q: When is an expert not an expert?
A: When he's the cab driver who delivered the expert waiting for his fare....

Here is a hilarious story of a TV interview with the expert Guy Kewney but instead they got the cab driver who'd bought him to the TV station. Read the full story, watch the video.

All I can say is what a class improv act - he could blag his way through anything after that performance. In fact he does even better than Bush who is actually supposed to know what he is misspeaking about. Give the man the job!